Alright my peeps, I hope you’re strapped in for this one because you’re going to be blown off your #$@!$@% seat if you’re not! Here’s one of the hottest babes in the history of the humankind, and one of my top five celebrity babes of all time, Emmanuelle Chriqui, granting my birthday wishes from 2008 and 2009 by slipping into a tiny bikini and hitting the beach in Miami yesterday afternoon… lord have mercy!

Oh man, I’ve been dreaming about this moment for years. Yeah, believe it or not, this is the first Emmanuelle Chriqui candid bikini moment ever. Unless you count that time I sneaked into her backyard. Anyways, she sure doesn’t disappoint, eh? Get a load of that awesome body! And especially her stupendous cleavage! And her shwingtastic booty! And… hell, everything! Alright, I’ve already said too much. Enjoy the mind-blowing photos, and check out the rest (over thirty!) after the jump!

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Here’s Jessica Biel doing what she does best in NYC yesterday afternoon, and that’s looking like a sexy little minx and showing off her awesome booty curves… hoochie mama! Oh yeah, her killer booty is busting out big time, even when it shouldn’t be. I mean, you probably wouldn’t even be able to make out any curves on most babes wearing that baggy/loose dress. But not our Jessica, eh? Nice. Enjoy!

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

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Here’s uber hottie Jordana Brewster prancing around West Hollywood yesterday afternoon, and proving once again that she has one of the sexiest/most perfect pair of stems on the entire freaking planet. And in a pair of ultra shorty shorts no less. Nice! Sigh… now that’s what I call shwingtastic perfection. And my future girlfriend. Enjoy the show!

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

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Here’s Jessica Lowndes (aka “Megan Fox Light”) leaving last night’s Lipsy London Glam Launch Party, and looking like a sexy minx in one hell of a skimpy little dress while doing so. Sexy cleavage? Check. Killer legs? Check. Groovy curves? Check. Looks that resemble the hottest celebrity babe on the planet? Check. Enjoy? You betcha!

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

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Here’s Olivia Wilde prancing around NYC yesterday afternoon, and totally melting me into a useless pile of mush thanks to her stunning looks, groovy curves, sexy stems, and especially thanks to her Wonder Woman t-shirt. Well, it’s more the fact that she’s wearing a Wonder Woman t-shirt than the actual t-shirt itself. Yeah, I’m totally still a fanboy. Alright, enjoy!

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

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Here’s a newly blond Hayden Panettiere (wowzers!) making her way to her “Late Show With David Letterman” taping in NYC yesterday afternoon, and looking like a sexy little minx and unleashing her rollercoaster curves while doing so… hoochie mama! Get a load of that killer little booty. And her ever-growing bosom. And her sexy little legs. And… oh hell, everything from head to toe! But seriously, I’m especially mesmerized by that shwingtastic little booty. And her new blond look as well. Alright, enough blabbing; enjoy the photos and try not to drool all over yourselves!

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Here’s Jessica Biel prancing around NYC on a rainy day, and still looking like a drop dead sexy babe even if it looks like the rain washed away most of her make-up. But then again I’m pretty much only checking out her sexy stems in skin-tight leggins. And so are you, so… enjoy!

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I really don’t know much about Lindsey Morgan other than she’s an actress, and that she’s one of the hottest babes I’ve seen in years. Here she is prancing around Vancouver the other day and looking absolutely adorable and showing off her killer little body and wicked cleavage. Wow. I wasn’t kidding when I said that she’s one of the hottest babes I’ve seen in years, eh? This girl is absolutely banging from head to toe! Yup, this looks like the beginning of a beautiful relationship. Enjoy!

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Here’s the uber hot Olivia Munn making her way to her Late Show With David Letterman taping yesterday afternoon in NYC, and showing off her groovy curves and some bodacious cleavage while doing so. Nice! Leave it to Olivia to dress in a sexy little number and show off some sexy curves and skin for a TV/public appearance, eh? And to induce a drool-feast. Enjoy!

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Here’s Selena Gomez making her way through LAX airport yesterday afternoon in a pair of skin-tight leggings that are doing one hell of a shwingtastic job of showing off her sexy little legs. Yup, skin-tight leggings are the only way to fly if you gals want to know my opinion. Either that, or lingerie. What!? Oh come on, I’m only kidding. But not really. Enjoy!

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Here’s Hilary Duff doing her mom thing at a park in Beverly Hills yesterday afternoon, and showing off a whole lot of leg and thigh action in a ridiculously short pair of shorty shorts… damn! I don’t think we’ve seen the Duffster wear a pair of shorts that short since before getting knocked up. Nice! Oh yeah, she’s also looking totally freaking hot, and showing off some cleavage as well. Double, ummmmm, nice! Ok, enjoy the show!

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Here’s my old Buffy, The Vampire Slayer/Angel crush, Charisma Carpenter, getting interviewed by Extra yesterday afternoon, and still looking like a bodaciously sexy and uber busty babe from head to toe. Wow, not bad for a forty-three year old mom, eh? Whoa, she’s forty-three!? Cordelia is forty-three years old!? Man, I feel old. Luckily for me, Charisma Carpenter and her groovy curves are here to raise my spirits. Enjoy!

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Here’s Selena Gomez looking like a sexy little minx (as always) at last night’s premiere of her new movie “Getaway”… hoochie mama! She’s looking totally freaking hot and curvy in that tight little number, not to mention leggy. Like, very, very leggy. Nice! And she’s actually making me jealous of Ethan Hawke for the first time since he was married to Uma Thurman. Anyways, back to Selena and her leggy sexiness… enjoy!

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Here’s Lily Collins continuing her world domination, and continuing to show off her sexy little curves in a pseudo see-through dress at the premiere of “The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones” in Fredrikstad, Norway… hoochie mama! And as if that wasn’t enough to induce a drool-fest, she’s getting down and dirty. Literally! Enjoy!

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Here’s one of the sexiest babes on the entire freaking planet, and coincidentally my future wife, supermodel Candice Swanepoel, prancing around NYC the other day on her day off (i.e. she’s not wearing a tiny bikini or naughty lingerie), but still looking ridiculously sexy in a skimpy top and flimsy skirt. Hence… “supermodel”. And “future wife”. Enjoy suckers!

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Here’s musician Lana Del Rey prancing around Beverly Hills yesterday afternoon in a ridiculously short pair of cut-off shorty shorts that are doing one hell of a job of showing off her legs, and… does anyone still care about this girl? What’s that? Only when she shows off her legs in shorty shorts? Ah, ok; got it. Enjoy!

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