Here’s Jessica Alba at last night’s Black Ball benefit event sporting a new hairdo (and a very unflattering dress at that), and the only word that can sum it all up is… fail. Now if you want to see Jessica Alba actually looking hot (remember that?), head over here and here.

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You’ve probably seen those Jessica Alba “Declare Yourself” ads right? Well, here’s the video to accompany them. Listen, I’m totally behind what they’re going for (go vote!), but this is embarrassing. I’ll be nice and say the video is cheesy, ok? Check it out if you want to see Jessica Alba showing off her acting abilities and Hayden Panettiere wearing one of those Hannibal Lecter thingies.

Click here to see the Video

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Well, well, well, if it isn’t our old friend Jessica Alba. We’ve hardly seen Alba out and about since giving birth, but the few times that we have seen her, I’ve been impressed. Here she is at the Narciso Rodriguez Spring 2009 fashion show looking absolutely stunning and gorgeous. And check it out; she’s actually smiling!

Hopefully the old prudish and uptight Alba we had the unfortunate privilege of seeing her turn into pre-pregnancy is long gone. Now if she could only drop the fancy shmancy robes and get herself back into her maternity clothing (i.e. cleavage popping dresses), we’ll be all good.

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Phew, that was a close one. For a while there it looked like Jessica Alba had shunned the Hollywood scene and was content with just being a mom, going grocery shopping and wearing sweatpants to Tupperware parties. Well, the old smoking hot Jessica Alba is officially back and, pardon the expression, bigger and better than ever.

How so you ask? Well, besides the fact that she showed up at the 2008 ALMA Awards dressed really hot and not in some old hippie rags like she used to, she actually showed off her brand new post-pregnancy uber cleavage. Like I said… bigger and better than ever.

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I gotta tell ya, no matter how much of a prude and a downer Jessica Alba has become, she’s definitely still a hottie. Obviously it has had affect on how hot she is, but not so much where I’m not attracted to her, and it’s definitely not going to stop me from posting pictures of her showing off her breasts in a fancy shiny bra. Still, even with Alba showing off said breasts, there’s just no way I’m going to pay money to see the stinking pile of crap known as the Love Guru. Have a good weekend boys and girls.

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I’m sorry to be the one to tell all you guys and girls out there with delusional dreams and ridiculous expectations, but Jessica Alba is officially off the market.

Mom-to-be Jessica Alba and Cash Warren have gotten married, PEOPLE confirms.

The couple quietly wed Monday, says her rep, Brad Cafarelli.

According to a source, they were married in the Beverly Hills courthouse’s ceremony room under an arch of green silk foliage and white flowers. They were casually dressed, with Alba wearing a long blue dress and her hair back in a ponytail.

“She looked happy but nervous,” the source says. (Source)

Seriously, does anyone even care what Jessica Alba does anymore? I hardly do and I was an Albaholic for years. Having said that, Jessica Alba married does have a negative affect on her overall hotness, but the days of drooling over every move Alba makes is long gone for this blogger, and I’m sure for the majority of all you guys as well. Anyways, here are some pictures of Alba before she became a married, self-hating turnoff.

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Here’s a video that Jessica Alba did for a staring/no blinking chanllenge over at ibeatyou.com. I can pretty much guarantee you that 99% of the guys who watch this video are going to ignore that it’s a game and use it for their own little twisted fantasies, but I’m embarrassed to admit that I actually tried to beat her in the challenge and lost. I, umm, must have been distracted. Yeah, that’s it!

Click here to see the Video

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Here’s a St. Patrick’s Day quickie, starring a non-pregnant Jessica Alba showing herself off real good. I haven’t seen these shots of Alba from February’s Gotham magazine before, but they’re definitely worth a post. She looks scorching as usual, but is it just me or does she look even hotter now that she’s pregnant? Actually, no, it’s not just me.

Pregnant Jessica Alba:

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Here’s Jessica Alba looking absolutely breathtaking and showing off a ton of cleavage at the Paris premiere of her new movie The Eye. Now, let me get this straight. Non-pregnant Jessica Alba would constantly yap about how unsexy she would find herself and would drape herself in hippie-like clothing. Pregnant Jessica Alba doesn’t say a word anymore and wears mondo cleavage revealing dresses. I don’t get it. But I’m not one to figure out the mysteries of the universe. Enjoy.

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As much as I dig Rihanna, she didn’t stand a chance next to a pregnant Jessica Alba at the Fendi Store opening in Paris the other day. Hmm, maybe it’s because she was dressed in a lion trainer’s outfit while Jessica Alba wore a dress that showed off her mondo cleavage? Ya, I think that might have had something to do with it. Better luck next time Rihanna!

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